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osm1989

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osm1989

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 August 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2024
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.

osm1989's page activity

Visits<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:07am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:37am<b>chylew</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Dumbledore911</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:36am<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:58am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 12:45pm<b>SgrA</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:55am<b>Glitter_taco_</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 1:15am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 2:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:16am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 7:39am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 3:44pm<b>Davenomore12</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:19am<b>NaN101</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:24am<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:15pm<b>BMF96</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:57pm<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 10:59am<b>Rob4614</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 6:32am

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osm1989's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53004) - you deserved it (10207)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47272) - you deserved it (4876)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30528) - you deserved it (3009)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41328) - you deserved it (6227)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44235) - you deserved it (4877)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51169) - you deserved it (5642)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

#20576546
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (8960)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by pot, meet kettle (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46643) - you deserved it (5537)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45124) - you deserved it (7793)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34337) - you deserved it (6295)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34038) - you deserved it (3355)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (6484)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States



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