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osm1989

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osm1989

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 August 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2040
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.

osm1989's page activity

Visits<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:07am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:37am<b>chylew</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Dumbledore911</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:36am<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:58am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 12:45pm<b>SgrA</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:55am<b>Glitter_taco_</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 1:15am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 2:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:16am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 7:39am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 3:44pm<b>Davenomore12</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:19am<b>NaN101</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:24am<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:15pm<b>BMF96</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:57pm<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 10:59am<b>Rob4614</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 6:32am

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osm1989's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50684) - you deserved it (23543)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58785) - you deserved it (3980)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37465) - you deserved it (4095)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33732) - you deserved it (4135)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54997) - you deserved it (4277)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49640) - you deserved it (13508)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47024) - you deserved it (5277)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64506) - you deserved it (5948)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47503) - you deserved it (6337)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40604) - you deserved it (3864)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45530) - you deserved it (3014)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46821) - you deserved it (5493)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47198) - you deserved it (9137)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42975) - you deserved it (4283)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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