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  • Number of visits : 546
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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oslate's page activity

Visits<b>Ewokinator</b> - the 12/23/2010 at 8:02am

oslate's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of oslate's badges

oslate's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52460) - you deserved it (3500)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

#17378554
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14236) - you deserved it (40635)

On 08/05/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40280) - you deserved it (3244)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41563) - you deserved it (5493) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41563) - you deserved it (5493) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40820) - you deserved it (8671)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24690) - you deserved it (3083)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

#8555278
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12301) - you deserved it (20175)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by sacked (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

#8539206
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (2305)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22316) - you deserved it (2501)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

#7278236
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25529) - you deserved it (3085)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML

#6366534
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (3285)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50840) - you deserved it (7088)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34196) - you deserved it (7266)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version



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