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osegal18

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osegal18

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  • Number of visits : 1088
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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osegal18's favorite FMLs

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42831) - you deserved it (7345)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

#20891546
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43089) - you deserved it (5483)

On 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm - work - by -_- (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
166 comments

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

#20889355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37818) - you deserved it (2523)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by -.- - United States (California)

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38509) - you deserved it (16700)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43387) - you deserved it (3584)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

#20879472
166 comments

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (4811)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

#20878703
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66307) - you deserved it (7175)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by Crazy Crazy Crazy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56274) - you deserved it (9183)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44098) - you deserved it (2705)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

#20875776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47485) - you deserved it (4076)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17069) - you deserved it (86152)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38984) - you deserved it (5748)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia



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