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osegal18

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  • Number of visits : 884
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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osegal18's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36981) - you deserved it (3284)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53172) - you deserved it (4507)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26459) - you deserved it (40779)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, I dropped my phone in the wet snow. I read that putting it in rice helps to get the water out. Three pieces of rice are now frozen into the power port, and I can't get the charger in. FML

#21034026
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (12389)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by merrr - Canada

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (7377)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38284) - you deserved it (3730)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46026) - you deserved it (7191)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

#20985487
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43607) - you deserved it (5933)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm - health - by goingtothegym (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46515) - you deserved it (5121)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47142) - you deserved it (5500)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, I dropped a $400 bottle of wine while trying to get the cork out. FML

#20982484
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (16159)

On 12/06/2013 at 2:08am - money - by butterfingers - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML

#20981275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37258) - you deserved it (4714)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Amy - Australia (South Australia)



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