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osegal18

Offline (the 07/12/2015 at 10:30pm) | Search for a member

osegal18

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1752
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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osegal18's FML badges

Santa Claus

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osegal18's favorite FMLs

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38500) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

#21309681
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (3134)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by Silverfeathery -

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (7543)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32794) - you deserved it (7576)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29352) - you deserved it (2278)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35462) - you deserved it (3694)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (4080)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (3805)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (3350)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29766) - you deserved it (8069)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28841) - you deserved it (5973)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44251) - you deserved it (3864)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (30839)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37888) - you deserved it (2663)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)



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