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osegal18

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osegal18

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  • Number of visits : 1073
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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osegal18's favorite FMLs

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (6116)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (2004)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29860) - you deserved it (3260)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30155) - you deserved it (3214)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (2889)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46868) - you deserved it (3801)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37352) - you deserved it (5010)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37612) - you deserved it (3508)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

#21246592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32803) - you deserved it (2732)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50673) - you deserved it (9737)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40471) - you deserved it (3492)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36701) - you deserved it (13770)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43830) - you deserved it (7824)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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