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Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (5383)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43860) - you deserved it (2782)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (2568)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32414) - you deserved it (24050)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by sugarysofalof - United States (Colorado)
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (60272)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49241) - you deserved it (6936)
On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42985) - you deserved it (4167)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41703) - you deserved it (3428)
On 06/10/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by sadgirl - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44176) - you deserved it (3577)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (3142)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15439) - you deserved it (90441)
On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32611) - you deserved it (3377)
On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53642) - you deserved it (11094)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (7964)
On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38747) - you deserved it (8551)
On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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