Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

oreoeater

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

oreoeater

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 258
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About oreoeater : I'm a cookie, not much more to say

oreoeater's page activity

Visits<b>geren</b> - 2 hours ago<b>icandothecancan</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:41am<b>iSonia</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:49am<b>jplaya93</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:21pm<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:33am<b>tonimari3</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:13am<b>Gmoney12</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:10am<b>legodude28</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:17pm<b>javelinthrower</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:43pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:05am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:43am<b>fk18</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:57am<b>Sasha_94</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:30am<b>skylark1616</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:52pm<b>T_Dogg42</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:54pm<b>marinaf</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:43am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:24am<b>disturbed678</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:16pm

Liked!<b>icandothecancan</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 10:41am

oreoeater's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of oreoeater's badges

oreoeater's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

#21252510
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (5865)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42279) - you deserved it (2675)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42383) - you deserved it (2719)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36063) - you deserved it (5972)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41695) - you deserved it (13608)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49218) - you deserved it (4478)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40305) - you deserved it (4956)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

#16752428
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45130) - you deserved it (8474)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (365890) - you deserved it (18934)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (430881) - you deserved it (59888)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (287882) - you deserved it (19174)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
464 comments

I agree, your life sucks (416549) - you deserved it (67292)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (605300) - you deserved it (38052)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (347141) - you deserved it (32384)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: