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oreodog

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oreodog
  • Town/Country : Longmont, U.S.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 145
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About oreodog : Im country all the way!!!! I love to ride horses and hang with my friends!!!!!

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oreodog's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50359) - you deserved it (4594)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56964) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73150) - you deserved it (3515)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50033) - you deserved it (20067)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47219) - you deserved it (10911)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66781) - you deserved it (6169)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48327) - you deserved it (57906)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49161) - you deserved it (3346)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43423) - you deserved it (3461)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44081) - you deserved it (7778)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68870) - you deserved it (5459)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

#20702631
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50490) - you deserved it (6512)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49490) - you deserved it (14981)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

#20701600
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52216) - you deserved it (5677)

On 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by i'm not psychic, mother fucker (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)



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