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oreoboy123

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oreoboy123

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 893
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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oreoboy123's page activity

Visits<b>pdp</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 5:56am

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oreoboy123's favorite FMLs

Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML

#21510035
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (3969)

On 01/01/2016 at 2:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

#21509335
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (4802)

On 12/30/2015 at 10:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time when she noticed I only have one testicle. She immediately broke up with me, for she doesn't want her future sons to be gay because they'll only have half of their testosterone. FML

#21508578
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (1664)

On 12/27/2015 at 11:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

#21507692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26152) - you deserved it (1403)

On 12/25/2015 at 1:32pm - misc - by probably on death row soon (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 15 year-old brother told us his girlfriend is pregnant. He was taught in his abstinence-only sex ed that condoms don't prevent pregnancy. My parents are blaming her pregnancy on me, for not telling him the truth about sex, because parents giving their kids the sex talk is "too awkward." FML

Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML

#21502763
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21166) - you deserved it (1558)

On 12/11/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML

#21502573
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21889) - you deserved it (1418)

On 12/11/2015 at 11:34am - money - by KamiAzaaaaaa (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my cat regurgitated his food right on top of a heating vent located on my floor. Now the whole house smells like hot vomit. FML

#21501908
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (1956)

On 12/09/2015 at 2:26pm - animals - by Jack W. - United States

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

#21501271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (3137)

On 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Hormones apparently (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML

#21498607
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (2298)

On 11/30/2015 at 4:27pm - kids - by jimmy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

#21498195
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you deserved it (2718)

On 11/29/2015 at 1:43pm - intimacy - by cole66 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

#21498195
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you deserved it (2718)

On 11/29/2015 at 1:43pm - intimacy - by cole66 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

#21292826
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (3031)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:21pm - love - by thedudeman14 (man) - United States (New York)



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