This member hasn't filled in their description.
oreo809's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
oreo809's favorite FMLs
by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Oja1 / 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
by whoopsboutthecap / 11/15/2011 at 7:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML
by midwesternpetclerk / 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm / United States / Work
Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 1:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by juliaspaperbags / 08/16/2009 at 10:32am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
by screamo / 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
by lollipopp56 / 03/26/2009 at 2:09am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because… Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I…