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oreily12

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oreily12
  • Town/Country : Southern Illinois
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 August 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 172
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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oreily12's favorite FMLs

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

#21073990
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32589) - you deserved it (5879)

On 02/28/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by loserr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29181) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23210) - you deserved it (1248)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

#19868224
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40332) - you deserved it (2303)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7494) - you deserved it (50715)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12037) - you deserved it (198651)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML

#16398150
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (13070)

On 05/29/2011 at 4:12am - kids - by adogg18 - United States (California)

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

#14128362
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (4821)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (7582)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

#8480132
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5502) - you deserved it (38112)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (25275)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (16598)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

#6334893
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7397) - you deserved it (21456)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML

#1054531
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (80042)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)



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