This member hasn't filled in their description.
oregonchris's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
oregonchris's favorite FMLs
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
by starfishedasshole / 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 9:04am / Israel / Love
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health
Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML
by Gem / 04/05/2013 at 7:04am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
by thanksmom / 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
by MissMSE / 09/18/2009 at 4:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, I just finished my first year in a Paralegal Studies degree program. I started reading about… Today, I found out my boyfriend gave himself food poisoning so he wouldn't have to meet my parents.… Today, I spent the night at my boyfriends house for the first time. I woke up at 3 in the morning…