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Offline (the 07/09/2015 at 8:23am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3858
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About orca11 : I like sws, Om&m, ptv, atl, bmth, ect. I have blue hair an am an extremely rare creature that never leaves her cave (room) I play video games. I love pandas and my nickname is beetus.

orca11's page activity

Visits<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:47pm<b>cosmicriver</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:04pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 9:53am

orca11's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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orca11's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

by CassidyQueen / 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

by Ravhi Karia / 04/03/2015 at 9:41am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

by greatly disturbed / 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

by I hate children / 08/18/2014 at 8:10am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Kids

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

by rozsrredd / 07/08/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

by where do they come from / 07/01/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

by outoflove / 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

by E.B. / 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2014 at 4:56am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Animals