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orbit

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orbit

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orbit
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 391
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About orbit : Saw a girl texting and driving the other day and it really pissed me off. So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.

orbit's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - 9 hours ago<b>mischiefkel</b> - 10 hours ago<b>psychopolarbear</b> - 15 hours ago<b>muis545</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:46am<b>Ichiya</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 12:50am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:24pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:21pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:15am<b>slayer447</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:50am<b>cutiepie600</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 9:42pm<b>cocogibson</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 3:56am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 12:17am<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:34pm<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:21pm<b>_Buttons_</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 9:02pm<b>m5ar123</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 7:52pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:56am<b>AlexRen</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:24pm

Liked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:58pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:29am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:04pm<b>reiichan</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:24am<b>ManateeRex</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:12pm<b>sayyestothedress</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:26am<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 7:23pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:59am

orbit's FML badges

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of orbit's badges

orbit's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32180) - you deserved it (2880)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (9834)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (4548)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35012) - you deserved it (3651)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39517) - you deserved it (4644)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34597) - you deserved it (3224)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (3029)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36207) - you deserved it (2582)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46780) - you deserved it (3515)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (2912)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35721) - you deserved it (3646)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40846) - you deserved it (4477)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (9324)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (325) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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