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orbit

Offline (the 03/06/2015 at 5:08am) | Search for a member

orbit

11Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 780
  • Number of comments : 292
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About orbit :

orbit's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:16pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:05am<b>macorncob</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:27am<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:48pm<b>tesslaar</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:10pm<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 2:42pm<b>RainEliseWolf</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:58pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:19pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 10:56pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:42pm<b>maddy20159</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:45pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:23am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:25pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:39am<b>Aliakatherin</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:09pm<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 11:51pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:47pm<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 6:11pm

Liked!<b>SHADOWS565</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:45am<b>violetmay210</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:46pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:16am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:58pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:29am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:04pm<b>reiichan</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:24am<b>ManateeRex</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:12pm<b>sayyestothedress</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:26am<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 7:23pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:59am

orbit's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of orbit's badges

orbit's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

#21358633
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (2063)

On 02/18/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by breyn (woman) - United States

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (2502)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18730) - you deserved it (35538)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

#21352870
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25127) - you deserved it (9741)

On 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm - work - by tirf -

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

#21351173
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30525) - you deserved it (3404)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29754) - you deserved it (4864)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (1916)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

#21320382
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27442) - you deserved it (4634)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37742) - you deserved it (4287)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32564) - you deserved it (2899)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38533) - you deserved it (10847)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (4572)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (4078)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39617) - you deserved it (4650)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (3233)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)



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