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ooomegah

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  • Number of visits : 4984
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Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:36pm<b>Aero_boy</b> - the 07/25/2010 at 2:37am<b>buzz18</b> - the 07/25/2010 at 1:18am<b>iamchuck</b> - the 05/01/2010 at 3:31pm<b>xoLoveox</b> - the 02/12/2010 at 11:27pm

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ooomegah's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML

#17107042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29797) - you deserved it (2369)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:53am - intimacy - by TheGoodTwin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML

#17102517
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29407) - you deserved it (1938)

On 07/14/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by j1hill33 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

#17068940
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27339) - you deserved it (22492)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by tony456 (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

#17030601
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9291) - you deserved it (79632)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm - misc - by UhOh (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64194) - you deserved it (6707)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11413) - you deserved it (56929)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31227) - you deserved it (4841)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my school year book awarded "cutest couple" to my boyfriend and I. We broke up yesterday. FML

#16842946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40996) - you deserved it (4931)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:31am - love - by yearbook369 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML

#16232451
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38943) - you deserved it (5619)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:13am - love - by me -

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19383) - you deserved it (88689)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

#15091616
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (19763)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Elle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46893) - you deserved it (4284)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41828) - you deserved it (8707)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68162) - you deserved it (6266)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16494) - you deserved it (41632) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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