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oonomatopoeia

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 7:38am) | Search for a member

oonomatopoeia

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  • Number of visits : 202
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About oonomatopoeia : absolutely frantic bananas fall at a pace of googling monkeys

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oonomatopoeia's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (8774)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36952) - you deserved it (4072)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16580) - you deserved it (27871)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (3336)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (12835)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (5768)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17521) - you deserved it (2547)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11443) - you deserved it (23808)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19599) - you deserved it (7074)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (3319)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23201) - you deserved it (4264)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (2650)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16859) - you deserved it (49833)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

#18271050
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11246) - you deserved it (20375)

On 11/17/2011 at 6:22am - health - by ray - United States

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22621) - you deserved it (5544)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)



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