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onorexveritas

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 9:56pm) | Search for a member

onorexveritas

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4604
  • Number of comments : 1262
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>Ironmayhem</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:34pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Gooberglop</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:15am<b>abattior</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:29pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:00pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:11pm<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:53pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:33pm<b>vicious_fashion</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:27am<b>julian0605</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:20pm<b>abdirahman4578</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:38pm<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:54am<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:37am<b>captain_spam</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:52am<b>Landesanity</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:48pm<b>allisurd</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:31pm<b>JayBunny</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:48pm

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24670) - you deserved it (4980)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (3422)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (8011)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40545) - you deserved it (5226)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32125) - you deserved it (6338)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML

#17787431
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36248) - you deserved it (7515)

On 09/20/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by chloeguest97 - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

#14549373
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37725) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

#13640932
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29672) - you deserved it (5347)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

#12810587
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122316) - you deserved it (12025)

On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29483) - you deserved it (5230)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18158) - you deserved it (3554)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

#7635822
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (2620)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML

#7560337
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4604) - you deserved it (30003)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

#7231973
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6681) - you deserved it (36424)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29078) - you deserved it (3282)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)



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