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onorexveritas

Offline (the 11/15/2014 at 7:10am) | Search for a member

onorexveritas

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4920
  • Number of comments : 1262
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

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onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML

#19712062
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19355) - you deserved it (6529)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

#19612395
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (2012)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19210) - you deserved it (36783)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13722) - you deserved it (55272) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (2471)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (9506)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML

#19363644
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30129) - you deserved it (5002)

On 03/28/2012 at 1:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (18526)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (4289)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9747) - you deserved it (31611)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (1958)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (2468)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

#19059708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (2109)

On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15057) - you deserved it (40047)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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