onorexveritas

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Offline (the 11/23/2015 at 4:56am)

onorexveritas

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6470
  • Number of comments : 1263
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>funkymonk3y</b> - yesterday at 4:47am<b>frankmz</b> - yesterday at 3:38am<b>maxtheripper666</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 12:17am<b>inkjet</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 4:53pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 3:10am<b>TeddW</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:41pm<b>rissamarie</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 7:09am<b>stfuwtf</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:19pm<b>David3794</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 3:20am<b>Pixanator</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 6:38pm<b>UserError94</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:54pm<b>windyouthere</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:04pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:22am<b>RedCronos</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 6:01am<b>10220706</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:37pm<b>Mons</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:04pm<b>papa_vas</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:31am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:18am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:28pm<b>conure</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:53am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:27am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:31am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:51am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:36pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 7:19am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:50pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:22am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:32pm

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

by anonymous4991 / 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

by baldspot / 04/02/2012 at 1:38am / Australia / Kids

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

by atsukobo / 03/10/2012 at 1:04am / United States / Love

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

by h4rdy / 03/09/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love