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onorexveritas

Offline (the 11/23/2015 at 4:56am) | Search for a member

onorexveritas

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 February 1996 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6310
  • Number of comments : 1263
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>secretmisery05</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:23am<b>rebow</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:56pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:45pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:27am<b>simply_meeeee</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:55pm<b>cheetos3838</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:05pm<b>TheSmurgler</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:36pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:38pm<b>ConFuzzld</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:19am<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 11:23am<b>conure</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 11:53pm<b>hoeslikedicks</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:40am<b>saranguyen24</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 7:36pm<b>damnien</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 10:55pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 4:49pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:31pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:08am<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:43am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:28pm<b>conure</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:53am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:27am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:31am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:51am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:36pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 7:19am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:50pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:22am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:32pm

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (40405)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
592 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15574) - you deserved it (59118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (2714)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (9929)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML

#19363644
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34031) - you deserved it (5497)

On 03/28/2012 at 1:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26334) - you deserved it (19501)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24935) - you deserved it (4584)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11315) - you deserved it (35147)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (2244)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

#19059708
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (2370)

On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16789) - you deserved it (43752)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (5438)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31808) - you deserved it (3761)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)



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