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onorexveritas

Offline (the 03/02/2014 at 7:50am) | Search for a member

onorexveritas

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4199
  • Number of comments : 1262
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Austrand22</b> - 13 hours ago<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Tobber</b> - 13 hours ago<b>doctorlemons</b> - yesterday at 12:15am<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 7:10am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:13pm<b>shyeahh</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:49pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:24am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:27pm<b>annoyed146578</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:42am<b>julialovesyou19</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 2:01am<b>gkbowden</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:55pm<b>TheThirdi</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:39pm<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:48am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:15pm<b>DeathScythe24</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:58pm

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41401) - you deserved it (2758)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8108) - you deserved it (22372)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (3505)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (1670)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18576) - you deserved it (4671)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (3734)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML

#19712062
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18208) - you deserved it (6295)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

#19612395
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23927) - you deserved it (1918)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14779) - you deserved it (25784)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
581 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12872) - you deserved it (53658) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (2290)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20136) - you deserved it (8964)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States



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