About onorexveritas : I am I and you are you. We are FML users.
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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (4046)
On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91377) - you deserved it (9484)
On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States
Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (4009)
On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)
Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12310) - you deserved it (2580)
On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (1877)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2783) - you deserved it (20257)
On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4823) - you deserved it (26427)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (2509)
On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (122964)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43090) - you deserved it (7427)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (12169)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37282) - you deserved it (21689)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10587) - you deserved it (40403)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:35am - animals - by tryscal - United States (California)
Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41514) - you deserved it (6645)
On 06/10/2009 at 7:03am - work - by person (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75267) - you deserved it (35496)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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