Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

onorexveritas

Offline (the 03/03/2015 at 11:54pm) | Search for a member

onorexveritas

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5436
  • Number of comments : 1262
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>TheDvsOne</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:26am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:20am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:25pm<b>spencer353</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:21am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:09pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Henriqu3e</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:48am<b>codytallica</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>conman317</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 5:53am<b>03stroker03</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:33pm<b>hihello18</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:19pm<b>sethr_di</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 11:46am<b>NDForever1</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:32pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:56am<b>tardisseeker</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:20pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:48pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:35pm

Liked!<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:32pm

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Yesterday, I faintd. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stoppd to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughd. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46757) - you deserved it (3461)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the stair with mah guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to mah wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close mah eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stars. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63524) - you deserved it (14455)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, uncle drove to house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Niether of us live on a farm. Half the nieghborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38862) - you deserved it (4235)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today , at work , mah boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. real FML

#20677176
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (3993)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Yesterday, I have an upset stomach . looool Every other minute, it sound like Chewbacca is screaming to get out . FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35407) - you deserved it (4451)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today I walkd into ta living room to find ma 11-yaar-old daugtar about to kiss ar ( not ma boyfriand ) on ta lips. Wan I askd wat sa tougt sa was doing sa paald a piaca of scotc tapa off ar lips and said ( It's okay! Wa'ra using protaction. ) FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67479) - you deserved it (9932)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Yesterday, mah wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60607) - you deserved it (9157)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, mah sister textd me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worrid about wat could happen. I textd ( good luck ) back. My phone autocorrectd it to ( goodbye ) and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53697) - you deserved it (7529)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman fir a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker fir the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60828) - you deserved it (20285)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah boyfriand of 2 waaks said that ha was going to cook ma dinnar. Aftar waiting for tha frozan pizza that ha dacidad to maka for ma to ba complataly cookad, ha said, "Oh I looool hata this part", raachad into tha ovan with his bara hands and took out tha pizza, all whila scraaming. Ha is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50697) - you deserved it (10880)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I Walked In On My Husband Eating Cat Food Out Of The Cat Bowl Dressed In A Cat Costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52689) - you deserved it (5798)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

TODAY, I CAME HOME IN TERES OVER FINDING OUT MY BOYFRIEND HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME. I TOLD MY SEEMINGLY SYMPATHETIC DAD EVERYTHING. HIS ADVICE WAS TO LURE THEM BOTH TO OUR HOUSE WITH THE PROMISE OF A THREE-WAY, AFTERHICH HE'D "KILL THE SHIT" OUT OF THEM. REAL MATURE, DAD. FML

#20568440
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I was cast as beast in mah high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? ( At least they won't need any looool makeup. )

#20566521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34309) - you deserved it (3526)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Beast - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, it was mah first time with mah boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets!! FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (8546) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: