Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

onorexveritas

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 9:56pm) | Search for a member

onorexveritas

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4648
  • Number of comments : 1262
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:40pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:34pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Gooberglop</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:15am<b>abattior</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:29pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:00pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:11pm<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:53pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:33pm<b>vicious_fashion</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:27am<b>julian0605</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:20pm<b>abdirahman4578</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:38pm<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:54am<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:37am<b>captain_spam</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:52am<b>Landesanity</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:48pm<b>allisurd</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:31pm

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63085) - you deserved it (5066)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46605) - you deserved it (3454)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63296) - you deserved it (14412)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37504) - you deserved it (4098)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (3985)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35260) - you deserved it (4440)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67229) - you deserved it (9918)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60504) - you deserved it (9140)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53502) - you deserved it (7507)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60610) - you deserved it (20247)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50556) - you deserved it (10854)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51236) - you deserved it (5646)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34405) - you deserved it (6303)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I was cast as beast in my high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't need any makeup." FML

#20566521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (3426)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Beast - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (5894)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: