onorexveritas

Search for a member

Offline (the 11/23/2015 at 4:56am)

onorexveritas

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6755
  • Number of comments : 1263
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 6:26pm<b>rnarshmallow</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 5:24pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 9:52pm<b>1DisGR8</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 3:09am<b>DanielDart2</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:03pm<b>swipedown</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 4:17pm<b>trex19</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 11:21am<b>jon_894b</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 7:42am<b>completerubbish</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 4:55am<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 11:32am<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 4:49am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 11:22am<b>Mdon0719</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 9:18am<b>funkymonk3y</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 4:47am<b>maxtheripper666</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 12:17am<b>Jkalia</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 3:10am<b>TeddW</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:41pm<b>rissamarie</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 7:09am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:28pm<b>conure</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:53am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:27am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:31am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:51am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:36pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 7:19am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:50pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:22am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:32pm

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:43am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

by kelbel89 / 10/01/2013 at 5:46pm / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

by OnCompanyTimeToo / 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids