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onorexveritas

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 8:56pm) | Search for a member

onorexveritas

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4344
  • Number of comments : 1262
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>JayBunny</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:48pm<b>natmarie94</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:38am<b>WickedBooger</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:01pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:24pm<b>lightfingered</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:42am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:15am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:13pm<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:00pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:25am<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:19pm<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:07pm<b>Tobber</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:36pm<b>doctorlemons</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:15am<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 7:10am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:13pm<b>shyeahh</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:49pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:24am

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23511) - you deserved it (43172)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38088) - you deserved it (7934) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (3039)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

#21228755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (2498)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48683) - you deserved it (21145)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43262) - you deserved it (7912)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49619) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42767) - you deserved it (23888)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46656) - you deserved it (12167)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45149) - you deserved it (8822)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40648) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (221) - you deserved it (18514)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (34235)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria



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