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Offline (the 11/23/2015 at 4:56am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6178
  • Number of comments : 1263
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>s1s1</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:08am<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 8:16am<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:43am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 11:26pm<b>lightbane</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:00pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 4:53pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 4:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 3:02pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 10:50pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Zesty_Z</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:27am<b>vet1</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:50am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 2:34pm<b>NoOrdinaryNZer</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 7:02am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 9:24am<b>talas122104</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 2:53am<b>Oihana</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:44pm

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:27am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:31am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:51am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:24pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:36pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 7:19am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:50pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:22am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:32pm

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40227) - you deserved it (5659)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML


I agree, your life sucks (40539) - you deserved it (7449)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (47806)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47451) - you deserved it (10447) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37179) - you deserved it (3547)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML


I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (2919)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52053) - you deserved it (22778)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47115) - you deserved it (8717)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49689) - you deserved it (28130)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50562) - you deserved it (13292)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50869) - you deserved it (9868)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44006) - you deserved it (4499)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML


I agree, your life sucks (51449) - you deserved it (23121)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

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Tuesday 24 November 2015

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