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onorexveritas

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onorexveritas
  • Town/Country : In the Streets of Gold, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 February 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 3505
  • Number of comments : 1249
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users. (No, I don't have Kik or any other social media profile.)

onorexveritas's last visitors

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onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34955) - you deserved it (3413)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35799) - you deserved it (14224)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

#21056193
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34511) - you deserved it (17749)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38987) - you deserved it (9481)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (4111)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41437) - you deserved it (4617)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (3364)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (2710)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44293) - you deserved it (4579)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43419) - you deserved it (3665)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34019) - you deserved it (7362)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40757) - you deserved it (6020)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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