Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

onorexveritas

Offline (the 03/02/2014 at 7:50am) | Search for a member

onorexveritas

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4203
  • Number of comments : 1262
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About onorexveritas : Hello! I am I, You are You and We are FML users.

onorexveritas's page activity

Visits<b>HunterHimself</b> - one hour ago<b>Bulldozer36</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Austrand22</b> - 24 hours ago<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Tobber</b> - yesterday at 3:36pm<b>doctorlemons</b> - yesterday at 12:15am<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 7:10am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:13pm<b>shyeahh</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:49pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:24am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:27pm<b>annoyed146578</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:42am<b>julialovesyou19</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 2:01am<b>gkbowden</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:55pm<b>TheThirdi</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:39pm<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:48am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:15pm

onorexveritas's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of onorexveritas's badges

onorexveritas's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42219) - you deserved it (7868)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48728) - you deserved it (4632)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40551) - you deserved it (22938)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46419) - you deserved it (12105)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44483) - you deserved it (8783)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40534) - you deserved it (4138)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46880) - you deserved it (17843)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (34210)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
108 comments

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (4928)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38552) - you deserved it (4339)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40082) - you deserved it (13058)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (4215)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: