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Offline (the 01/01/2016 at 1:00pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2866
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About onealmxwilson : Braaaap! Motocross is life. I race a 2014
Yamaha yz250f. If you have any questions, feel free to message me :)

onealmxwilson's page activity

Visits<b>declassified</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 2:27am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 5:50pm<b>TehAnderz</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 11:43pm<b>djrodcol</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 5:05pm<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 10:22am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 12:15pm<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 4:19pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:56pm<b>logan12382</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 4:22pm<b>will5801</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:38pm<b>jesswoo</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:54pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 8:28am<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:48pm<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:33pm<b>Naisha_D</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 11:16pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 12:46am<b>Ginger_Love</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:21am<b>maddie_xo</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 6:03pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 6:16pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:39am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 2:28pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 6:47am<b>maddie_xo</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 4:37am<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 5:25am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:03pm<b>kdonut</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 4:58pm<b>TayTay0910</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 4:29pm<b>kristenhall00</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:49am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 4:56am<b>nikkih_06</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:56am<b>ashbee11790</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:13am<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:00pm

onealmxwilson's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of onealmxwilson's badges

onealmxwilson's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 10:24am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

by Justified12 / 10/13/2014 at 10:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

by Puzzlepiece / 06/28/2014 at 10:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

by a very unlucky dude. / 06/18/2014 at 2:37am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

by mdsfkljsfsdrewr / 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

by Shit / 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, marks my third day of school being closed due to snow. One, and only one, of the teachers has decided that we have to do work online in the meantime. I just so happen to be in three of his classes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 12:26pm / United States (Missouri) / Work