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onealmxwilson

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onealmxwilson

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1439
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About onealmxwilson : Braaaap! Motocross is life. I race a 2005
Honda crf250r. If you have any questions, feel free to message me :)

onealmxwilson's page activity

Visits<b>ashbee11790</b> - 17 hours ago<b>nikkih_06</b> - yesterday at 3:35pm<b>changster_</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 1:20am<b>Punkgirl4554</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:25pm<b>cookimonstur</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 5:22pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 5:09pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:15pm<b>trevieh47</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:23pm<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:57pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Dogystyle69</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 1:30am<b>ClearlyImFunny</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:48pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:47am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:41am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 2:02am<b>epiclollipop</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:00am<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:38pm<b>NotDarkKnight</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:49pm

Liked!<b>nikkih_06</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:56am<b>ashbee11790</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:13am<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:00pm

onealmxwilson's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of onealmxwilson's badges

onealmxwilson's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (37583)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

#21191359
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43185) - you deserved it (6159)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

#21179030
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35399) - you deserved it (11840)

On 06/18/2014 at 2:37am - animals - by a very unlucky dude. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44673) - you deserved it (4195)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51899) - you deserved it (7190)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (6053)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45206) - you deserved it (33422)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38242) - you deserved it (4320)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33938) - you deserved it (11834)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55867) - you deserved it (6190) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48970) - you deserved it (6450)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, marks my third day of school being closed due to snow. One, and only one, of the teachers has decided that we have to do work online in the meantime. I just so happen to be in three of his classes. FML

#20987643
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41553) - you deserved it (4420)

On 12/10/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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