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omgwtf135

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omgwtf135

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  • Number of visits : 74
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omgwtf135's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20272) - you deserved it (52273)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60555) - you deserved it (7452)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33323) - you deserved it (4803)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54744) - you deserved it (27492)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (10794)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

#15386188
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18898) - you deserved it (31274)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by gayboii (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43862) - you deserved it (8695)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54051) - you deserved it (5160)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107615) - you deserved it (6444) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12575) - you deserved it (67234)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

#15174885
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50209) - you deserved it (4682)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by FFFFF- (man) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had cheated on me with a minor. She is claiming rape and going to put him in jail. He asked me to help him pay for his attorney. FML

#13496641
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39794) - you deserved it (3429)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:03am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

#12483686
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4749) - you deserved it (49777)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by fullmoonfml (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17169) - you deserved it (68086)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7237) - you deserved it (80216)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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