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omgpp

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omgpp

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omgppomgpp
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 January 1945 (69 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 179
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About omgpp : I am me. Nice to meet you! I live in my house. on earth. In America. I am over a decade old. kittens

omgpp's page activity

Visits<b>wilburhp</b> - yesterday at 12:34pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:46pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:25pm<b>mypineapple</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:40am<b>123amanda123</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 3:25pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:20pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:40pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:25pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:00pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:57pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 6:38pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:44am<b>FrutLoopDingus</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:52am<b>BasedComment</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 9:30pm<b>ozozl</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:54am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:54am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 4:03pm

Liked!<b>mypineapple</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:41am

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omgpp's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44705) - you deserved it (6060)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50698) - you deserved it (6636)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45897) - you deserved it (26185)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48733) - you deserved it (16300)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40122) - you deserved it (10505)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55154) - you deserved it (64261)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

#20694826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47125) - you deserved it (3972)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82040) - you deserved it (25233)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8011) - you deserved it (24471)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (3733)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7763) - you deserved it (33633)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (3115)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11464) - you deserved it (88932)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (33692)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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