omgitsseejay

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omgitsseejay

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 May 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 40407
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About omgitsseejay : i am filipino.
so stop looking at me like a math problem.
i am entertained at this site and why not join?

omgitsseejay's page activity

Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:36pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:52am<b>afranklin212</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:16pm<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:31am<b>sharonguan</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:21pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:06am<b>irishgirl5689</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 8:53pm<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:54pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 4:09pm<b>Gingerness23</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:36am<b>hopefloats007</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 4:19pm<b>Esels_Hintern</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 3:13pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 2:30pm<b>kayte_G</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 2:44pm<b>inkedperfections</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 9:42pm<b>Jakethedog6969</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 4:26pm<b>alex1027livi</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 5:53pm

omgitsseejay's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

omgitsseejay's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

by oopsie / 05/24/2009 at 10:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

by duhitskelly94 / 05/24/2009 at 10:48am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

by anon / 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

by Jeremy / 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

by screamo / 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

by cait / 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

by jess / 04/30/2009 at 12:51am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML

by bongoboy / 04/25/2009 at 3:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 10:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy