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omgitsseejay

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omgitsseejay
  • Town/Country : Washington, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 39213
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About omgitsseejay : i am filipino.
so stop looking at me like a math problem.
i am entertained at this site and why not join?

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omgitsseejay's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11068) - you deserved it (202586)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

#2237527
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15570) - you deserved it (50250)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by duhitskelly94 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

#1901911
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57333) - you deserved it (4503)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

#1791192
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22206) - you deserved it (76841)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#1564480
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16436) - you deserved it (39821)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

#1493509
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11216) - you deserved it (74307)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

#1479634
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42061) - you deserved it (8843)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (97843)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML

#1313726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48536) - you deserved it (5344)

On 04/25/2009 at 3:51am - intimacy - by bongoboy - United States (California)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36498) - you deserved it (124679)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

#797956
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85961) - you deserved it (4760)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91407) - you deserved it (28438)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26332) - you deserved it (103211)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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