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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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omgitsafly

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omgitsafly
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2137
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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omgitsafly's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (8549) - you deserved it (49012)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (1802)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 11 year old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach wearing a bikini. He said " Wow! Who's that?!" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said " Whats happened?!". FML

#5164588 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (5213)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (1954)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year old daughter washes her hair everyday. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy" hair like her mommy. FML

#5108353 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (10188) - you deserved it (30503)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:25pm - kids - by greasyhair (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML

#4807185 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (8583)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:54am - love - by kalazoo21 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

#4154850 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (2709)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227 (587)

I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (62855)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I was visiting my friends new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughters. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

#3188725 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (23563) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793 (488)

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (224048)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (13111) - you deserved it (42969)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my sister in law walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (97738)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

#950316 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (102901) - you deserved it (7129)

On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (64161) - you deserved it (21321)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783 (455)

I agree, your life sucks (294767) - you deserved it (16458)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)