omfgwow

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omfgwow

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2047
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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omfgwow's page activity

Visits<b>Polionixon</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 7:50pm

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omfgwow's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2009 at 7:29am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

by mylifereallyISeffed / 07/22/2009 at 6:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

by hoho5191 / 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

by hoho5191 / 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a Starbucks drive-thru and was grabbing a hot coffee when I got rear ended and my car hit the vehicle in front of me which deployed my airbag. Hot coffee can really burn when it hits your face at a high rate of speed. FML

by coffeeburns / 07/19/2009 at 3:25am / United States / Transportation

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

by blackntangirl / 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

by xobeachbabi428ox / 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. On our way to the Space Needle I was pulled over and promptly arrested. Apparently, I had recently purchased a car from a man who had robbed a jewelery store. The ring is now evidence. FML

by diamondsareforever / 07/18/2009 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML

by nicefamily / 07/18/2009 at 8:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

by insertfoothere / 07/18/2009 at 7:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML

by fartypeepee / 07/18/2009 at 6:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2009 at 12:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

by wtf / 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy