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omenalove's favorite FMLs
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Even after several hours I wasn't able to climax. My girlfriend now thinks that I don't like her body, and the reason I couldn't orgasm is because I don't like having sex with her. We spend the rest of the night in silence. FML
by TheFreyzy / 02/20/2015 at 2:40am / Switzerland / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML
by foreveralone / 02/17/2015 at 10:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML
by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by DumbFace714 / 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Vampire Teabag / 02/12/2015 at 11:25am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML
by katrina2d / 01/27/2015 at 12:43am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by emmaavk88 / 03/17/2014 at 8:15am / United Arab Emirates / Animals
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML
by Anonymous / 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous
Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML
by Biologyfacepalm / 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm / United States / Work
by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love
by sierraleeannee / 02/09/2014 at 1:44am / United States / Kids