omegaxen

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omegaxen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1144
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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omegaxen's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:39am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:33pm<b>PhoebeBuffett</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:52am<b>sappy23</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:32am<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:29pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:32am<b>Daylightscar</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:41pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 3:08pm<b>bookiedweeb</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Cynoblaze</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:22pm<b>wildcats909</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:07am<b>marulicko</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 8:48am<b>IconicFML</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Ricko_Ram</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 9:25pm<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:43pm<b>ComMeNeMoMo</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 10:22am<b>jobroseph15</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 10:26pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 12:46pm

omegaxen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

omegaxen's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

by Ally / 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

by cantgetup / 04/03/2011 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2010 at 8:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

by apavies444 / 11/28/2010 at 2:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

by T_Willl / 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm / Work

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

by lynn / 02/17/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous