Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Online | Search for a member

olpally

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12939
  • Number of comments : 3172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : I can't say too much so I won't.
Ugh. I work way too much.
Unfucking believable. I have the worst luck ever.
Kik: olpally. Don't be creepy.

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>Spetz14</b> - 55 minutes ago<b>VMG</b> - 7 hours ago<b>SomeRandomGuy100</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Ekoorb03</b> - 8 hours ago<b>erenack</b> - 9 hours ago<b>joarasmi</b> - 14 hours ago<b>diesel_power</b> - yesterday at 3:09am<b>petrolhead</b> - yesterday at 1:10am<b>zineb22</b> - yesterday at 10:10pm<b>paramor3</b> - yesterday at 8:38pm<b>elsieglea</b> - yesterday at 5:09pm<b>namine120409</b> - yesterday at 6:46am<b>turtles_love</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:01am<b>BeatriceBigsby</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:27am<b>madisonliz</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:18am<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:10am<b>SprinkleSprankle</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:35pm<b>CheerBaby97</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:24pm

olpally's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (8095) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML

#21084802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37124) - you deserved it (3503)

On 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm - work - by KBBL (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

#21084790
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42101) - you deserved it (4829)

On 03/12/2014 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37826) - you deserved it (5511)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML

#21084165
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36425) - you deserved it (9170)

On 03/11/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by shonfyr (man) - Spain

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35942) - you deserved it (3913)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44281) - you deserved it (6079)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML

#21083870
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (5769)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

#21083045
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38931) - you deserved it (3652)

On 03/10/2014 at 10:23am - work - by Frozen (man) - United States

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38923) - you deserved it (2916)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49338) - you deserved it (8880)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42448) - you deserved it (4258)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML

#21081278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37047) - you deserved it (3474)

On 03/08/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by kittykat033 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (22240)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40532) - you deserved it (3234)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: