Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Search for a member

olpally

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12154
  • Number of comments : 3166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : I can't say too much so I won't.
Ugh. I work way too much.
Unfucking believable. I have the worst luck ever.

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>lexiale</b> - 3 hours ago<b>pam241</b> - 18 hours ago<b>macorncob</b> - yesterday at 9:47am<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - yesterday at 5:05pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - yesterday at 4:18pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:38pm<b>cestidoll</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:39am<b>jessthebst</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:11pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:47am<b>nsxgurlie22</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:06pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:30pm<b>thisgirlsgotyou</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:13am<b>neveropenthat</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:08am<b>schwaka</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:02am<b>PurelyCanadian</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:02am<b>KaylaLevin57</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:32am<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:18pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:27pm

olpally's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (7485)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22797) - you deserved it (1504)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

#20127937
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (1532)

On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18203) - you deserved it (1431)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7831) - you deserved it (21714)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (54948)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML

#20110360
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (4766)

On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (4720)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

#20110068
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (8209)

On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (2669)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (1888)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (4540)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: