Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Online | Search for a member

olpally

29Liked!

olpallyolpally
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17011
  • Number of comments : 3205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : I can't say too much so I won't.
Unfucking believable. I have the worst luck ever. Fuck this shit, I give up.
Kik: olpally. Don't be creepy.

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>beardownarizona</b> - 56 minutes ago<b>badoo</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Edogg215</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Boys_Cars</b> - 19 hours ago<b>eminemineminem</b> - yesterday at 12:58pm<b>macorncob</b> - yesterday at 8:48am<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:05am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:42pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:13pm<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Cyrren</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:05pm<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:30pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:26am<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:57am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:04pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:59am<b>DO24SS</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:47am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:29am

Liked!<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:31am<b>gilliano</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:18pm<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:49pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:01pm<b>cfan</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:57am<b>poppunkette</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:05am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:19am<b>rpsrascal</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:55pm<b>nemcali</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:57pm<b>curlytop101</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:20am<b>kenny26f</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:48am<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:21am<b>redbootsarecool</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:54pm<b>jinglebombs</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:49am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:43pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:38am<b>catherine012</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:05am<b>kingben1243</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:01am

olpally's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

#20200383
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22898) - you deserved it (1805)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (2181)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

#20200046
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30048) - you deserved it (2900)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (5168)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (5168)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21178) - you deserved it (4150)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (1558)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34335) - you deserved it (3499)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (4645)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (2477)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10386) - you deserved it (70219)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24577) - you deserved it (7584)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (1510)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

#20127937
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23198) - you deserved it (1585)

On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18304) - you deserved it (1441)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: