Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

olpally

43Liked!

olpallyolpally
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20220
  • Number of comments : 3220
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : I can't say too much so I won't.
Unfucking believable. I have the worst luck ever. Fuck this shit, I give up.
Kik: olpally. Don't be creepy.
Hate my damn life. Ugh.
I'm an emoji whore. 😍😘😜😄😋😈🙊😆😇😏 message me if you wish. I'll always respond! 😇😈

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>lonedee</b> - one hour ago<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - 3 hours ago<b>katefleck77</b> - yesterday at 7:32am<b>satanarroliga</b> - yesterday at 7:45pm<b>appletreee</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 8:27am<b>kellilynn</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:41am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:25pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:44pm<b>jinxy333</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:20pm<b>goblue10871171</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:53pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:38am<b>rach0545</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 4:47am<b>kylie31</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:23am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:53am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 11:33pm<b>CheleGirl</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:36pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 6:23pm<b>muggles97</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:50pm

Liked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:45am<b>pharm121</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 4:19pm<b>EKDH</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 10:55pm<b>GunSlinger69</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 10:06pm<b>ashleyyeah</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:32am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Posthuman</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:31pm<b>anonymuzzz</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:20am<b>nhaba1214</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:15am<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:27am<b>emeraldisle</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:50am<b>feven</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 3:35am<b>kimmi5</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:58pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:31am<b>gilliano</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:18pm<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:49pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:01pm

olpally's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34059) - you deserved it (53278)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39254) - you deserved it (9343)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32915) - you deserved it (52708)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22334) - you deserved it (64431)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

#21135494
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35591) - you deserved it (3414)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16570) - you deserved it (67442)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (5081)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42169) - you deserved it (8569)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37288) - you deserved it (4681)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35926) - you deserved it (5536)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

#21118282
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35840) - you deserved it (4678)

On 04/20/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Slovenia (Domzale Commune)

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45275) - you deserved it (8881)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (4402)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

#21113585
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48511) - you deserved it (3791)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:01am - love - by cricha4208 - United States (Missouri)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: