Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Online | Search for a member

olpally

11Liked!

olpallyolpally
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14233
  • Number of comments : 3195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : I can't say too much so I won't.
Unfucking believable. I have the worst luck ever. Fuck this shit, I give up. You want to be miserable, go the fuck ahead, I'll be over here laughing my ass off and saying I told you so. Fuck you bitch.
Kik: olpally. Don't be creepy.

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - 10 hours ago<b>youngsparrow</b> - 12 hours ago<b>EverythingNerdy</b> - 14 hours ago<b>ally_sanderson</b> - 15 hours ago<b>adrianvons</b> - 17 hours ago<b>1sweetsin</b> - 18 hours ago<b>snazman</b> - 20 hours ago<b>macorncob</b> - 21 hours ago<b>dynamite9988</b> - 21 hours ago<b>annapanda143</b> - yesterday at 4:38am<b>magnetic_aura</b> - yesterday at 12:11am<b>jaydoug92</b> - yesterday at 11:49pm<b>utrax</b> - yesterday at 6:04pm<b>jolego</b> - yesterday at 2:17pm<b>caseylee222</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:23am<b>triSARAtopsRAWR</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:34am<b>krupa1901</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:15am<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:53pm

Liked!<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:15am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:13am<b>satanarroliga</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:43am<b>cattturine</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:18pm<b>tiggermo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:27pm<b>FutureMatty</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:27am<b>907frostygirl</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:45am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:45am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 12:36am<b>SomeRandomGuy100</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:12am<b>paramor3</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:29pm

olpally's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML

#20729234
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41616) - you deserved it (3029)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML

#20725768
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41363) - you deserved it (2763)

On 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by wtfwhyfml (woman) - United States

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72929) - you deserved it (7217)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

#20724940
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37778) - you deserved it (4579)

On 06/14/2013 at 1:57am - work - by fubuggie (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60230) - you deserved it (5422)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47555) - you deserved it (3154)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47370) - you deserved it (12275)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

#20723133
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46770) - you deserved it (23912)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37544) - you deserved it (68155)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44868) - you deserved it (7644)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47502) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (50315)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56413) - you deserved it (3064)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: