Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

olpally

12Liked!

olpallyolpally
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14766
  • Number of comments : 3197
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : I can't say too much so I won't.
Unfucking believable. I have the worst luck ever. Fuck this shit, I give up. You want to be miserable, go the fuck ahead, I'll be over here laughing my ass off and saying I told you so. Fuck you bitch.
Kik: olpally. Don't be creepy.

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - 42 minutes ago<b>ejkst19</b> - 23 hours ago<b>hedgehogman123</b> - yesterday at 12:21am<b>claubea11</b> - yesterday at 9:33am<b>macorncob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:48pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:10pm<b>rpsrascal</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:45pm<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:57pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:44pm<b>Taurusbabe75</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:31am<b>kingben1243</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:01am<b>nobody18</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:48pm<b>ZannityZan</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:03am<b>sju91</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:30am<b>vikky538</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:34am<b>Ninjin1986</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 5:29am<b>pankoeke</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:42am<b>pastel</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:26am

Liked!<b>kingben1243</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:01am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:15am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:13am<b>satanarroliga</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:43am<b>cattturine</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:18pm<b>tiggermo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:27pm<b>FutureMatty</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:27am<b>907frostygirl</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:45am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:45am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 12:36am<b>SomeRandomGuy100</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:12am<b>paramor3</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:29pm

olpally's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56348) - you deserved it (9071)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44293) - you deserved it (2624)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25168) - you deserved it (35804)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45618) - you deserved it (3028)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47618) - you deserved it (2557)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42239) - you deserved it (2888)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51616) - you deserved it (3895)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML

#20746334
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39640) - you deserved it (3516)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by couch girl - Singapore

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49376) - you deserved it (8735)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26022) - you deserved it (40410)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

#20745652
83 comments

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

#20745099
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (5970)

On 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm - love - by afraid of flying too - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (3951)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58605) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: