Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Online | Search for a member

olpally

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13022
  • Number of comments : 3174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : I can't say too much so I won't.
Ugh. I work way too much.
Unfucking believable. I have the worst luck ever.
Kik: olpally. Don't be creepy.

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>SomeRandomGuy100</b> - one hour ago<b>abattior</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Cherryta</b> - 3 hours ago<b>VMG</b> - 4 hours ago<b>metalhead4740</b> - 4 hours ago<b>josephinema</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Pesticides</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Rallred32</b> - 9 hours ago<b>ilikeirony</b> - 10 hours ago<b>LebanonBaby</b> - 10 hours ago<b>CheerBaby97</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Enslaved</b> - 11 hours ago<b>paramor3</b> - yesterday at 7:19pm<b>MBradlee</b> - yesterday at 5:19pm<b>Skyzeri</b> - yesterday at 4:20pm<b>Spetz14</b> - yesterday at 5:16am<b>Ekoorb03</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:12pm<b>erenack</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:38pm

olpally's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45100) - you deserved it (8821)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

#21151208
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36230) - you deserved it (5964)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:46pm - love - by aww, such a nice guy. NOT (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

#21151195
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42003) - you deserved it (6876)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm - health - by 5p4571k (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47383) - you deserved it (7214)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

#21150425
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44483) - you deserved it (3703)

On 05/24/2014 at 5:20pm - misc - by NaCl - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

#21150097
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38101) - you deserved it (18473)

On 05/24/2014 at 11:22am - misc - by Lindsey (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33933) - you deserved it (53082)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38572) - you deserved it (9190)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32390) - you deserved it (51879)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (64292)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

#21135494
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35493) - you deserved it (3408)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16514) - you deserved it (67218)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you deserved it (5060)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41696) - you deserved it (8503)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36525) - you deserved it (4571)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: