olpally

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Offline (the 11/04/2016 at 4:22am)

olpally

237Fucked!

olpallyolpally
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 43917
  • Number of comments : 3475
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : Off

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 11/18/2016 at 2:40am<b>sweetsammiedee</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 12:15am<b>dguzman92</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 9:19am<b>Anasamnesia</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 2:53am<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 11:20pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 2:56pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 1:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 11:24pm<b>freePhantom</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 12:49pm<b>Hutchie931</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 3:50am<b>dreshany</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 4:58pm<b>laurenada</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 4:54pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 5:04am<b>helloimkylieee</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 2:15am<b>tappm98</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 8:32pm<b>jforren</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 8:09pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 3:12am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 11:06pm

Fucked!<b>freePhantom</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 5:48pm<b>aileen15</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 12:43am<b>stellasue11</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 5:41am<b>soccer555</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 2:46am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 10:20pm<b>stormy89</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 7:40am<b>classicate</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 4:25am<b>coolhihi11</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:07am<b>fringeisawesome</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 5:02pm<b>MiSsTeRiLyNn</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 3:28am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:25am<b>Liz072594</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:22pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:28am<b>andrmac</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 12:05am<b>Brighton_Cruz</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:25pm<b>katrinakalnikov</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Sonata90</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 8:12am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 5:22pm

olpally's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

by Avomitmous / 02/09/2014 at 4:18pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

by sierraleeannee / 02/09/2014 at 1:44am / United States / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

by O_o / 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

by vey / 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

by fuck you, dad / 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm / Mayotte / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

by cryface / 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

by BigLove / 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

by DeeDee / 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous