About oloy : Hiya
oloy's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
oloy's favorite FMLs
Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML
by Whackgourd / 12/11/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 3:25am / United States / Kids
by anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 10:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML
by bella / 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy
Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 12:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by awkwardpaul / 11/22/2013 at 5:18am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML
by kel / 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love
Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML
by :/ / 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by BOHICA123 / 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Ggirl / 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML
by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by sammieshortcake / 09/14/2013 at 11:30am / United States / Love
- Today, I found out I was fired from the best job I ever had. It was 10 minutes before the end of my… Today, I had sex for the first time lying on a deck chair outside of a house party. Just as I reach… Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me after making me wait for 4 years. Hours after that, my…