About oloy : Hiya
oloy's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
oloy's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 3:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek
Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:08am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML
by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by opinionsarestill / 12/20/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 3:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by um...no? i don't think so anyway / 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by snowbum69 / 12/15/2013 at 3:38am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
by bnc / 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Aggie_De / 12/14/2013 at 7:00am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML
by wth? / 12/13/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Love
by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…