Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

oloy

Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 6:21pm) | Search for a member

oloy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1145
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About oloy : Hiya

oloy's page activity

Visits<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:33am<b>cjrust</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:18am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:22am<b>meg13rocks</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:24am<b>user51020</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 8:00am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:10pm<b>AutumnMasquerade</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:20am<b>btf420</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 5:26am<b>Amarie33</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 10:42am<b>hanna_0619</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 11:42pm<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 2:35am<b>Specialll_Kayyy</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 2:07am<b>savannaaahh</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:24pm<b>johnduke456</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 11:36am

oloy's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of oloy's badges

oloy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50946) - you deserved it (5068)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46302) - you deserved it (6548)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31516) - you deserved it (47616)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41131) - you deserved it (7224)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48356) - you deserved it (9517)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

#21052729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44936) - you deserved it (5361)

On 02/06/2014 at 8:32pm - health - by sashimi9999 - United States (California)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37856) - you deserved it (14100)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40879) - you deserved it (10302)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42606) - you deserved it (10951)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53315) - you deserved it (4459)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49158) - you deserved it (8384)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50403) - you deserved it (5551)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39802) - you deserved it (7393)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

#21032937
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46744) - you deserved it (5162)

On 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm - misc - by fail (man) - United States

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34748) - you deserved it (56616)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: