ollehmihteb

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ollehmihteb

0Fucked!

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  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 186
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ollehmihteb's page activity

Visits<b>IceMan11</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:30am<b>Ricko_Ram</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 6:26pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 1:55am<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 2:33pm<b>AntiPrude</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 7:49pm

ollehmihteb's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of ollehmihteb's badges

ollehmihteb's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

by littlekellilee / 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

by mysidesaresplitting / 12/14/2012 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous