oliviafield

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oliviafield

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3724
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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oliviafield's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:27pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:47am<b>jc21</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 5:15pm<b>DarthFurby</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 4:42am<b>bedspring_kiss54</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 2:27am<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 7:44pm<b>jfool</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 7:16pm<b>SergioFML</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 7:37pm<b>itsgen</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 3:32pm

oliviafield's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

oliviafield's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

by xo_lezz / 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

by Slipperywhenwet / 02/28/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

by RosaP / 02/28/2009 at 1:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

by belladonna / 02/26/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

by Kasizzle / 02/26/2009 at 9:13am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

by foolishgirl / 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

by madfather / 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mother told me she was going out of town this weekend. I re-assured her that I would not throw a party. She replied "Oh, like you have enough friends to do that." FML

by stinker / 02/21/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

by taperjeangirl / 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

by Offended / 02/19/2009 at 2:09am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

by dammit_ / 02/16/2009 at 2:36am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

by SmokedSalmon / 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

by Tennisplayer / 02/10/2009 at 12:59am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

by Flubber / 02/07/2009 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work