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oliviafield

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oliviafield

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  • Number of visits : 2518
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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oliviafield's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:27pm<b>jc21</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 5:15pm<b>DarthFurby</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 4:42am<b>bedspring_kiss54</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 2:27am<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 7:44pm<b>jfool</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 7:16pm<b>SergioFML</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 7:37pm<b>itsgen</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 3:32pm

oliviafield's FML badges

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oliviafield's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "how did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?". She yelled from the other room, "you know that little plate with the red stripe". I was eating off of it. FML

#327078
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81287) - you deserved it (6909)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by imfullthanks (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17142) - you deserved it (108549)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66242) - you deserved it (26857)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73816) - you deserved it (3248)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (235043) - you deserved it (14778)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

#264253
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (57688)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81872) - you deserved it (6350)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81872) - you deserved it (6350)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28289) - you deserved it (275668)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232900) - you deserved it (30952)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232900) - you deserved it (30952)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232900) - you deserved it (30952)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML

#204455
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47669) - you deserved it (13700)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:05am - money - by gonkc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

#192383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46084) - you deserved it (4888)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (50980)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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