Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

oliviafield

Search for a member

oliviafield

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2508
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

oliviafield's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:27pm<b>jc21</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 5:15pm<b>DarthFurby</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 4:42am<b>bedspring_kiss54</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 2:27am<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 7:44pm<b>jfool</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 7:16pm<b>SergioFML</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 7:37pm<b>itsgen</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 3:32pm

oliviafield's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

oliviafield's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute boy told me I looked like a celebrity. Flattered, I asked who I resembled. He responded by saying that I looked exactly like Ugly Betty. He was serious. FML

#973990
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54316) - you deserved it (5110)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by wishbone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60784) - you deserved it (6882)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

#925174
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67543) - you deserved it (8681)

On 04/12/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

#871042
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110111) - you deserved it (5715)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26015) - you deserved it (47677)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26015) - you deserved it (47677)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

#801391
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18548) - you deserved it (63812)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by bezoar10 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (282068) - you deserved it (19062)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (282068) - you deserved it (19062)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went and got a spray on tan. I forgot to push the hair cap up. A few hours later, I was completely tan, except for the top half of my forehead was pasty white. It will last for five days. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

#785377
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55306) - you deserved it (2811)

On 04/03/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by str3tch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML

#777517
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10069) - you deserved it (54216)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:10am - work - by Boothater (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (57542)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96224) - you deserved it (9123)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: