olivia125

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olivia125

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1587
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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olivia125's page activity

Visits<b>grogers311</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:22am<b>gogators941</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:06am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:08am<b>hare</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:16pm<b>Camelking70</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 10:19pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 1:51pm<b>Aksta</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:04pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:41pm<b>ThatOneGuyTroy</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 5:18pm<b>Kyled2</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 8:52am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:19pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:59am<b>olpally</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 1:41am<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 5:40pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 9:35pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 11:57am<b>lexxiii</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 6:47pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 1:25am

Fucked!<b>gogators941</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 4:06pm

olivia125's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of olivia125's badges

olivia125's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

by bella / 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

by spooked / 11/22/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

by Haberdashing / 11/13/2013 at 3:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

by icyrebel25 / 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML

by CurseYouSonyaLee / 11/12/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

by Where is the faith in Humanity / 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

by WinkleBottom / 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous