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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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oliveolive

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oliveolive
  • Town/Country : Newport Beacb, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 418
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About oliveolive : ummmmmm follow me on twitter.com/theurbanolive

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oliveolive's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

#5340344 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (32482) - you deserved it (2621)

On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

#4883657 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (38518) - you deserved it (4398)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (9482) - you deserved it (30369)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669 (415)

I agree, your life sucks (34961) - you deserved it (15872)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#4728013 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (3655)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

#4717200 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (25212) - you deserved it (6623)

On 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (13575) - you deserved it (32529)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (6482) - you deserved it (43858)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I re-dislocated my arm trying to get it out of the cast it was in because I didn't want to pay the $50 dollar fee to get it taken off. FML

#4660097 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (5995) - you deserved it (62874)

On 08/19/2009 at 5:02pm - health - by flaps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (7007)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

#4562834 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (28454) - you deserved it (1834)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Tgreject (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

#4486771 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (29705) - you deserved it (4098)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm - misc - by OMGWTF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56287) - you deserved it (2494)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

#2134167 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (12937) - you deserved it (43786)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (71623) - you deserved it (13644)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)