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ojjasper123

Offline (the 12/31/2013 at 7:11am) | Search for a member

ojjasper123

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  • Number of visits : 191
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ojjasper123's page activity

Visits<b>lisaint</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:25pm<b>roeboat72</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 2:51pm

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ojjasper123's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML

#13339977
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (4241)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:40am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam

Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

#13024683
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6512) - you deserved it (37190)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41751) - you deserved it (12571)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (2684)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (2469)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (4582)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

#6806801
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (2821)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:42am - misc - by Mogg (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my 15 year old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

#6633448
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32472) - you deserved it (11935)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm - kids - by Sadface (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41922) - you deserved it (4442)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

#5689238
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53261) - you deserved it (2552)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML

#4218471
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (12531)

On 08/01/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by special-ingredient (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML

#4176016
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48701) - you deserved it (2372)

On 07/31/2009 at 4:03am - love - by FreakedOut (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19037) - you deserved it (46979)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

#4066807
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51900) - you deserved it (11910)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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