Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

oj101

Search for a member

oj101
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1504
  • Number of comments : 679
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 43 posted

About oj101 : Orange Juice

oj101's last visitors

DeidaraAkatsukiAnnie_Realaatas187xKavBakarraDerrickJames

oj101's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of oj101's badges

oj101's favorite FMLs

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16947) - you deserved it (4118)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (1131)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18325) - you deserved it (1221)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

#20131666
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18994) - you deserved it (3410)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (968)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18685) - you deserved it (1529)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

#20104478
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5528) - you deserved it (25404)

On 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm - misc - by didntknowyoucouldbreakit (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38800) - you deserved it (1327)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (1821)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (3391)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (991)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (4570)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

#20040720
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (4163)

On 08/25/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

#20040720
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (4163)

On 08/25/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: