Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

oj101

Offline (24 minutes ago) | Search for a member

oj101

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4414
  • Number of comments : 830
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About oj101 : Orange Juice

oj101's page activity

Visits<b>eddie367</b> - 18 hours ago<b>TheDvsOne</b> - 21 hours ago<b>rocker_chick23</b> - yesterday at 3:16pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:00pm<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:41pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:15pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:06am<b>sspence</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:28pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 12:02pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:06pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 3:33pm<b>Rukam</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:57pm<b>metalscales</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:13am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:55pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:08pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 11:31am<b>isabelf</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:32am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:25am

oj101's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of oj101's badges

oj101's favorite FMLs

Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML

#14382605
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (2119)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot - United States

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38538) - you deserved it (10402)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5545) - you deserved it (59171)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26825) - you deserved it (3535)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

#12916563
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33127) - you deserved it (4690)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:49am - misc - by wakinginvegas87 - United States (California)

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

#12112091
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43079) - you deserved it (4259)

On 07/25/2010 at 10:32pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

#8432968
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25737) - you deserved it (4508)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (6048)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was given a ticket for running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. FML

#7434371
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30382) - you deserved it (2566)

On 01/19/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by Samaritan (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45669) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34394) - you deserved it (2942)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML

#5060700
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36281) - you deserved it (8807)

On 09/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by uglychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

#3799026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36495) - you deserved it (4778)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

#2929872
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48647) - you deserved it (20773)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: