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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 October 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5190
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ohschmoley : ohhhhhhhhhhhh schmoley....
welcome to the life.
i eat creeps for breakfast.

ohschmoley's page activity

Visits<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:44am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:40am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/05/2009 at 3:57am<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 08/27/2009 at 11:19am<b>someotherbitch</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 8:17pm<b>shiznit0510</b> - the 08/05/2009 at 7:48am<b>GrandeCarne</b> - the 08/04/2009 at 10:31am<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 07/07/2009 at 9:16pm<b>jessicaiscool</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 3:05pm<b>666midnight</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 12:17pm<b>Envy3</b> - the 06/06/2009 at 2:30am<b>Meow34</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 8:08pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 11:14am<b>jillz</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 11:11pm<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:21pm<b>colortherainbowx</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:20pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 11:54am<b>iDontFail_xD</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 7:56am

ohschmoley's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ohschmoley's favorite FMLs

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 11:50am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

by gabess / 01/03/2009 at 8:59pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML

by lopez / 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm / Work